


Does She Know I Exist?

by forgot_my_art



Series: The 100 Memes Into Stories [3]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Anya Lives (The 100), Anya POV, Bottom Lexa (The 100), Clarke Griffin and Lexa in Love, Comedy, Endgame Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Established Clarke Griffin/Lexa, F/F, Happy Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Lexa Lives (The 100), Married Clarke Griffin/Lexa, clarke is mentioned, insecure lexa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:49:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28518903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forgot_my_art/pseuds/forgot_my_art
Summary: Lexa and Anya are riding out to battle for the first day the Commander has gotten back to her duties after her honeymoon with Clarke. Poor Anya.This meme turned into a fanficLexa - It’s just… I love her so much. Do you think Clarke knows I exist?Anya - You’re married to her so I’d hope so.… Also it’s from Anya’s POV cause I feel like that adds spice to this.
Relationships: Clarke Griffin & Lexa, Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Series: The 100 Memes Into Stories [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2053059
Comments: 4
Kudos: 102





	Does She Know I Exist?

  
  


Anya sighed. Her former seken (second), was over the moon and uncharacteristically smiley as she gazed at everything around the path as if seeing it in a completely new light. Lexa attempted (and failed) to school her grin into the stoic mask of Heda that she usually displayed with ease.

It was so sickly sweet that Anya wanted to gag. The woman had taken a rest from her duties as Heda after her bonding ceremony with Wanheda in a Skaikru tradition called a honeymoon. Anya supposed it was appropriate with how it was named since Lexa seemed to glow as if honey was running through her veins and moonlight was shining on her all the time.

Even if it was exasperating, Anya had to admit she had never seen Lexa so happy. Clarke brought out everything that died in Lexa when Costia died and more. It was no doubt they were destined for each other. However, that did not, in any way shape or form, mean that Anya needed to like how Lexa gushed about Clarke without end. Right now was a prime example.

“Anya, I need your advice on something”, Lexa said, turning in her saddle to face Anya. The horses ambled on, and Anya didn’t bother removing her eyes from the road in front of them.

“I am always at your service, Heda,” Anya drawls out in formality. There’s no need for it, there are no guards with them and they are too close for the formal words. The high general and Commander are too skilled to need a guard detachment for a casual trip to check on nearby training grounds for warriors.

Lexa frowns at that, “There’s no need for formalities,  _ Onya _ . You know I feel weird when my  _ fos _ (first), treats me like I’m on a Godly pedestal as well.”

Anya chuckles. She knows it gets under Lexa’s skin when she does that, it was exactly why she did it in the first place. There weren't many ways that she could annoy the girl anymore, and Anya was going to take every chance she found. “I know.”

Lexa rolled her eyes. “You continue to be as insufferable as the day you picked me to be your seken.” There was no malice in her gesture, simply a playful tease. Perhaps it was a little thing, but their mocking and lackluster insults brought them back to older days, where there wasn’t so much responsibility on their shoulders. Less wars, less deaths on their hands.

“And you continue to be as cocky as the day I found you, runt that you were. Least likely to win the conclave, that’s what they said about you,” Anya shot back. Neither of them needed a reminder of the day. Both of them remembered it well. It had changed both their lives for better or worse. Sometimes Anya lay, awake at night, and wondered why she had chosen the girl. The answer was always the same. There was a fierce fire within Lexa, something strong within her blazing eyes as opposed to her skinny frame.

“Yes, and because of that I am alive. Alive, the most important person in these lands, and as of two weeks ago, a happily married woman”, Lexa acknowledged with a bright, shining smile. No doubt Lexa was thinking of the time she spent with her wife, doing God knows what to soil every centimeter of the place they inhabited.

“Yes, but that’s not what you wanted my advice on, your liveliness and happiness. There is something else, no?”

“Indeed.” Then Lexa pauses. Her uncertainty is so unusual that Anya looks up from the path in front of them. She bites her lip. Lexa? Not sure of herself? Anya hadn’t seen this since the days when she was agonizing over her “unrequited” love for Costia. Anya was itching to rib her for it, but knew from experience what Lexa needed was a moment to think it through in that overworked brain of hers. 

It happened in a matter of seconds. Lexa looked up at her, and with the most serious, expression she said. “It’s just… I love her so much.”

Anya blinked, not sure if Lexa was messing with her or not. “What?” She had to be joking right? What could she possibly need advice on in her amazing romantic life?

Except, it was obviously  _ not _ a trick, because Lexa continued, “Do you think she knows I exist?”

Anya sighed. Of course this was what it was about. Anya had expected something big; politics, warfare, rebellions, or even on occasion, the logistics of an extremely important festival. Nope, she was stuck with this lovestruck idiot. Anya must’ve messed up somewhere along the way training Lexa, she thought, if this was what she had become. She returned her gaze to the road ahead. They should be coming up on the training camp soon.

In the flattest tone possible, she replied, “You’re married to her, so I would hope so.” Who was this branwoda (fool) next to her?

“Yeah… it’s just-. Clarke is so wonderful, and sometimes I feel like with the blood soaked on my hands, I’m not worthy of her.” Lexa’s voice wavered, something vulnerable coming to the surface. It was what years of battle and focus on a single subject (becoming Heda) had done to Lexa. She had no idea just how endearing her soft side was because pretty much everyone else in the world other than Clarke rejected it and hated her for it.

In other words, Lexa truly thought she wasn’t enough for Clarke to notice on a daily basis, that maybe it was just the title of Heda and not Lexa herself that Clarke noticed.

“Excuse me for my bluntness, but I think the part of you that Clarke loves is Lexa more than the Heda. Clarke of all people would never marry for anything but pure love. She’s too headstrong to settle for anything less. Plus, there’s no way anyone would’ve spent two weeks with just the one same person if she didn’t love them”, Anya answered. It was her best attempt at reassurance. She had seen many things in her life, but she wasn’t all that good at assurance. Not this type of assurance. She knew how to calm warriors on their first kill, she knew how to help people through death, and the traumas of war. Insecurities of romantic attraction, though? Not her forte.

Lexa sighed dreamily, no doubt now thinking of the past two weeks she had spent with Clarke. Probably doing something sickly romantic like walking on the beach and watching the sunset. “Yeah… I’m so lucky…” Her airy tone reminded Anya of one of the village girls on their first love.

Anya wondered if she could disown the Heda. She would have to do some research on the official laws when she got back to Polis later today. Perhaps she could “get a refund on her” like Raven had said the other day. Was that how you used the term?


End file.
